From Obi-Wan Kenobi's Diary
by Keiran
Summary: I wrote it some time ago (after watching TPM to be precise) but I think it's not so bad anyway. or that's what my dad says. that's only up to leaving Otoh Gunga, I don't've it translated further. tell me if I should bother. pls.


As usually, something was going on

Disclaimer: I don't own ... (here-insert). You wouldn't enjoy the trail, so let me be! I don't earn on it. (which I actually wouldn't mind)

**From Obi-Wan Kenobi's Diary**

_(how to have fun during the beginning of galactic civil war)_

As usually, something was going on. And as usually we were going right in the middle of it. Supreme Chancellor was sending us to some small planet (provinces again! Am I a farmer or something?), because some fools have established system blockade. As if they didn't know what is going to happen with them for this. So all this isn't changing a fact that I'm sitting in a small ship heading for Naboo. The Queen reminded me a palace of Alderaan, when I saw her holo-photo for the first time. And she was a kid. About fourteen I was told. So, no allusions, or affairs in her presence.

Captain is trying to land and not to destroy a ship meanwhile. I sense some great blow, even from where I'm standing now, I hope we could avoid it. Well, but that could be harder then it seems for now, I'm afraid. And my Master won't believe me, nothing new. I don't want to croak, but got problems with uniting Force. He can't see what is going to happen. So, we are getting off. Wow, they send a droid! Cool, I will kick his... wrr, Qui-Gon got in my way, again! One day I'm going to... droid shown us the conference hall, and told us to wait for his master. That's kind of spooky place, but at least the view is quite beautiful. Whole Naboo, little blue-green planet, mosty harmless and looks sympathetic to me. But I've got bad feelings again. Maybe I should talk with master?

"Master" I'm starting carefully "I've got bad feelings about this."

"I don't sense anything."

"It's not about our mission, master, it's something elsewhere... ellusive..." and before I could finish started thought master interrupted:

"Don't sense on your anxietys Obi-Wan. Keep your concentration here, and now, where it belongs."

"But master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future."

"Byt not at the expanse of the moment. Be mindful of the living Force, my young Padawan." And of course he cut all my doubts. On the matter of him- he could run comercials on TV. This kind of comercials, during which people check what's on the other channels, take some food etc.

"Yes Master." What else could I say? "How do you think this Trade Viceroy will deal with the Chancellor's demands?"

"Those Federation types are cowards. The negotiations will be short."

We sat behind the table.

"Is it in their nature to make us wait that long?" I asked choking a yawn.

"No, I sense unusal fear for this kind of argue." My master answered.

A moment after that droid appeared. What his name was? Oh yes, I remember. TC-14. Well, better would be: 'Theoretic AI in shining armour'. Did I mention I don't like droids? It seemed to me that he got orders to entertain us. I was about telling him to hand me a blaster and stand next to the wall, but I didn't wait until, cause he gave us something to drink. Poisonous, or not, I didn't care. Two minutes later I felt something disturbing, and a sound of a distant blow. I jumped from my sit activating my beloved little torch, when suddenly healthy – without doubts – green-yellow fog started to flow from the ventilation.

"Dioxide." Qui-Gon informed. I like when he informs me about something. I would never realise if he didn't. So I took deep breath, and started to think why am I always finishing in something poisonous. Perhaps nobody likes me.

Just when I started to feel lack of air, the doors went open. Through the mist I saw squad of battle droids ahead. Cool. TC got out first, and we hold on a second, and then we activated our lightsabres back, making sure that the rest of us was unseen through the fog. There is nothing to make imagination work, like cover everything on the first date. Soon the squad was send there, where hunting never stops, and me and my Master ran to find the bridge. It seemed that we weren't invited for this party, because every moving thing we met was trying to stop us. And when we finally got to the bridge, they locked the door. That didn't stop us. My master, who likes subtle and cheap sollutions started to fry the doors with his lightsabre, and I got the honour of scanning the area. 

Hey, I don't like this clatter. Well, of course, destroyer droids. Traditional weapon against two man, armed in arm-lenght-range weapon. Whole Galaxy knows *that*. I broke this kind of droids once, but it was deactivated, and I was armed in screwdriver. Meanwhile I decide to inform my master.

"Master!" I yell. Sometimes I'm very proud of my my voice's strenght. "Destroyers! Casually, I would say we've passed the negotiations stage."

So, Qui-Gon directed tactical withdrawn (that's supposed to be read: we flew away). The droids kept chasing us. And because the only place unable for them to reach was ventilation shaft, that's where we ran. I haven't been using slide since I was in kindergarden, but who cares? It's cool anyway. After long wild ride we got to main hangar, behind some pieces of packs. The view was rather cool – huge army of battle droids ready to go down and attack the Naboo. Wait a second. Replay, please- '...ready to go down and attack the Naboo...' why does something tell me that the negotiations failed? 

"It's an invasion army!" I exclaimed. Rather quite.

"We must worn the Naboo. And contact Chancellor Valoroum." And date with viceroy. Any plan more? "Let's split up. Get board on separate ships, and meet down on the planet." I nod.

"You were right about one thing master." He gave me suprised glance. "The negotiations were short." With one of my most brilliant smiles, reserved only for Jedi masters. Which I was forbbiden to use. Obeying of course. Master smiled and gestured for me to go. I got to one of the desent's ships, and decked somewhere between 09-023 and 09-024, whose elbow was tickling me while moving. We started pretty quick, and I was rather thankful for that. My situation was really not comfortable, and far from what everybody use to call 'safe'. My standarts of safety are quite different. I like when adrenaline jumps. 

After landing I left imediately, cause I wasn't expecting a warm welcome. I had enough time to create small diversion, what means I broke several droids. Ekhm, with very interesting option: self-destruction when activated. Pity that only several. I haven't enough time to destroy more, but that's still ok. Less droids less problems. For me at least. And for my master. And for Naboo. And for any-other-pathetic-life-form-that-may-stand-on-their-way. And – it's not me who's going to pay.

I dived into some small lake, unfortunately I forgot to switch my sabre off, so it burned a little bit. Master is going to scold me, it's the ... well, whatever, time. Who cares? From the small lake I swam to another on, bigger, and another one, catching a short view of Qui-Gon running from some tanks. I got out and followed. I followed my master, and two STAPs followed me. My sabre was burned so everything I could do was simply to run. 

First rule of the Jedi: keep your legs in a good shape. You never know when you'd have to use them.

I chased tricks of Qui-Gon, finding him rather easy. His presence was strong to feel, especially, when he was not making himself undetectable. And I chocked a swear as on of the droid's shots went right pass my ear, almost burning it. Bastards. When my sabre is going to recharge, I'm going to make them pay for this. Fuckin federators, invasion they want, huh? Well, I'm going to give them their invasion. Self-centered bastards! They make invasion, and poor Jedi has to run through the forest cause some metal sons of bitches are chasing him. Fuck them!

Oh here's Qui, at last. Better place to hide was taken, wasn't it? He blasted those metal jerks away, and I thought we could talk at last, but no, something jumps up and ... let's simplify it ... talks: "You saved my again!" I frozed. Who wouldn't? You just got scold for not-switching-your-sabre-again, and suddenly something halfway between frog and a parachute jumps in front of you, well, I got a little shocked. My master likes ... stuff.

"What's this?" I asked surprised and disgusted. Babies, girls, boys, chicks all right, that's rather reasonable (for Qui-Gon. I prefer chicks), but froggy parachutes?

"A local." That's reeeally comforting. "Let's go before more of them shows up." I gave the creature another warm glance, and I hurry after master. After sveral minutes of refreshing jogging, the creature catch us, shouting 'Exsquize me', and informing that 'Das motta saf place wud be gunga city.' Or something about it. I'm not very good at local dialects, however that was basic, just... not very common version. Master smiles sweetly to the gungan and I add equally sweet:

"If they find us, they will shot us, crush us into tiny pieces, and blast us into oblivian." Supported with a smile number 1124 which means: 'I'm not sadistic, am I?' his ...face... was really something to look at. He hesitated for less then five seconds, then flown into the forest. Before he did he almost killed me with his ears. I gave Qui-Gon another 'sight-on-what-you-have-pulled' and we run after Jar Jar. We stopped at the small lake. 

"How much further?" Master asks. 

"Wesa goin under wate, oki-day?" I scream spiritually, thinking that what the fuck has brought me here, and taking the air unit out from my sleeve. Jar warned of lack of warm welcomes. 

"Oh, don't worry. That hasn't been our day for warm-welcomes." I assured. Jar Jar made some crazy jump, and fell into the water. As a reward Qui-Gon get another sceptical glance. What could I do? I walked into the water, trying to keep calm. Swimming is quite exciting, unless you run from dozens of tanks and battle droids. However Jar Jar should have never left water, I realised. He looks much better in here, then on the concrete ground. That was supposed to mean he never seemed to run out of air. We swam for sometime then, and suddenly light appeared in front. From the distance it looked like a colony of golden jelly-fishes, however I can say it looked much better. If I wasn't myself, I'd call it beautiful. But I am myself (or that's just what I believe in) so I'll say 'not bad, for race situated between frogs and parachutes'. He, he. We swam to the closest bubble and went throught it. It worked better than hairdryer, not a dripple was left. 

"So good be in home!" Jar Jar exclaimed.When we stepped into few of the locals run away screaming. That's rather typicall reaction when seeing Qui-Gon. No, that was a joke. He is not **that** bad. Few somethings ashape of guards came closer riding something what looked a bit like what was riding it. Simplifying- something similar to gungans, but still with relatives somewhere around ducks. That is really a blowing connection: parachute, plus frog, plus duck. Jeez. Mother Nature had to be depressed while creating. 

"Helo deyi, captain Tarpals! Mesa back!" Jar said hallo. Guy didn't look very happy, if I understood correctly, he said: 'You're in troubles' tranlsated to gungans language.

One of the guards made Jar jump, when he touched his shoulder with long, electric spear, which Binks commented 'How wude!'. I've just decided he could beat a record of high jumps, if he was correctly motivated. And I'm a specialist in motivating. None of gungans was very happy seeing us, but they took us to their local government. When I saw them, I wanted to fly away. That felt like Jedi Council, more or less. Noses were hiiigh on the roof. Sight was a bit different, but aura was just the same. They looked like dozen of too well-fed creatures. Perhaps it was kind of farm. I've been only wondering who'd bother to keep something like that. Not usefull, not very decorating, and judging from the sight eats a lot.

Qui-Gon is using his best to get us out of this, and he's doing quite well by now. He was the one who put us into this. But of course I wouldn't have been me, if I hadn't added something from myself. Though I'm better when dealing with something that is a bit more intelligent. Not that I'm discriminating non-humans, or anything that is different. It's just that, I don't like foolishness. And the way we put the matter to them even little baby would catch up. Qui-Gon is better when it comes to deal with 'important living beings' as he insists to call all of useless, silly life-forms. But, he is the master here. When traditional methods of persuasion failed, he resorted to more effective method: the mind sugestion. Which made the froggy council decide, on their own, they will supply us with a bongo, whatever that could be, and speed us on our way. We turned around very happy: Qui-Gon happy because he didn't have to use direct compulsion and because we got everything we wanted, I happy because this time there was none additional luggage, which my master likes to provide. And I was happy for about five steps, and one intelligent question: "Master, what's a bongo?" on which I get equally intelligent answer: "Transport, I hope.", until I saw master's glance sent towards Jar Jar, who looked rather miserable. Binks meanwhile gave us a warning, translated here: "They are setting you up. Going through the planet's core" meanningful pause "bad boombing."

Loud moan from me. Qui-Gon was looking at that something, unmistakeably thinking. Well, that's some view. Doesn't happen very often. I usually do the thinking, and he's translating it into language that would not offend anybody.


End file.
